There was one exclusive group that I’d always longed to join: the Aunt Club. Having worshipped my own globe-trotting, sports-car-driving uncle, I couldn’t wait to sit on the other side of the fence. My Uncle believed that we should always see the world with wonder. We summered at his house often and I grew up thinking that I had another Dad, almost. So imagine my joy when my niece and nephew started wanting to keep in touch via their new phones, now that they’re of age.
But when I got their Snaps and jokes to which I couldn’t relate, and they called me “Aunt,” it made me wonder: does anyone LIKE being called Aunt or Uncle? I thought I would, but was my reaction personal and insecure? How does a glamorous companion and model, who wears skinny jeans and bikinis, get addressed as aunt…and what advice can she share about being a thoroughly modern aunt anyway?
A girlfriend told me that the etiquette of being a cool aunt is very simple: you must keep in mind at all times that you’re not the Mom. Just spoil them rotten and love them to death. Let them know you’re a safe space of strength and serenity; give them privacy while keeping them close. Create memories by sharing activities…you won’t always get to relive each experience, but having them is the winning formula. Reassure their parents that they’re doing a good job. Reward the kids with gifts. It’s hard to control yourself, but don’t give opinions or impose your values. Offer a different point of view maybe, but be both respectfully far away and close. Offer a sense of continuity…being an aunt is the one thing that’s not overrated, she said. I rolled my eyes at that, but as the kids have become cool teens with whom I can have a lot of fun, that has proven absolutely true.